Welcome: Are You a Miserable Old Bastard? (Book Recommendation)

I must begin with the introduction in the book that made me realize my true nature, "Are You a Miserable Old Bastard?" by Andrew John and Stephen Blake. (Buy Me) This 2008 collection of stories, quotes, and other sayings from infamous grumpy character (alive, dead, and otherwise) portrays us utterly pessimistic grumps in the comedic light we all have been hoping for. We are a very misunderstood group of individuals. Winston Churchill said it best "human beings may be divided into three classes: those who are billed to death, those who are worried to death and those who are bored to death." The pessimists of the world and I are all three of those classes in one eternally frowning, smug, overly sarcastic, know-it-all. But please don't be quick to judge. We are not that bad once you get used to us.

Now here is some advice for any optimist that might find themselves in the very opinionated audible radius of someone like me on his soapbox. Stop. Take a breath. Remember we are a narcissistic people. Stroke the ego. If you are right, tell us how our wrong answer is in someway connected with the right answer (use creative licenses). If all of that fails, you are out of luck. Sorry.

Probably by now many thoughts are entering your mind. Why should I listen to such an opinionated voice? How can I trust someone who thinks the worst of everything? Anyone listening to such a person would be a fool. Keep in mind, life is learning. Learning is observation and experience. Differing thoughts and opinions progress our lives, government, classrooms, economy, and every relevant life topic. Pessimistic views balance the equally crazy optimist view. We keep the world in balance.

-E. G. B.